A day in the life

Let's analyze this last couple of days.

1. I had 8 seizures. I went to the hospital and was seen by a P.A. who put me into the ICU.
2. Everybody in the unit was nice and friendly to me. They were probably wondering what the hell I was doing there. I know I wasn't. As a matter of fact, even though I was working physically the command module was still circling the moon.
3. I do remember seeing a 21 year old mom staring back into my nearly vacant head with huge owl eyes. Seeing that is almost as bad as pushing my head down the toilet 8 times. I'm told that my chilluns came by but I have no memory of that even though I had somewhat of a conversation.
4. My first solid memory is a Code Blue across the room. A swarm of ICUites descended on the poor SOB. I rolled over and went back to sleep.
5. Something else different: I had no fluids running. Usually I have Sodium Sol running. They put a header (or whatever it's called) in my forearm.
6. The next morning, when it was decided to move me up to the 4^th floor, I was parked next to the Nurses station waiting for a pusher. During this wait a pair of people walked in the front door and were greeted with “Hi. I'm the hospital Chaplain and I'm afraid he didn't make it.” What a sucky job. And to think God gave it to him.
7. Upon arrival on the fourth floor I was attacked by a breakfast creature. This egg was obviously cooked in radiology and after coming to life, crawled to my room with the leash intended to control it still attached. I apologize to Godzilla for eating his grandchild.
8. I wasted the next few hours wandering in and out of consciousness. The nurse said I could go home as soon as the podiatrist saw me. From that I assumed I had 4 seizures per foot and gladly accepted the possibility. After all, I'm not a professional.
9. Foot man arrives around 8pm. He pulls the stitches from my stump and continued with some minor debriding on the other foot. “I missed that!”
10. My foot was bandaged and I was allowed to leave. Stumpy started some minor drainage into the bandage and scared the crap out of mom.